A Home In The Mind

Home. It is where I feel most belonged. 

🌍 Where is my home? 

When I was little, I thought of home more as a physical environment that has four walls with a roof on top. It was fixed and immovable. My home was where I was brought up, where I first learned how to talk, walk, laugh, and cry.

As I grew up, moved around, and went to college, my home is no longer a physical one; it has taken on more of an abstract shape. 

My home is where I feel challenged, not only physically but also mentally. It is now a place where I step out of my comfort circle and try out new things, where I learn to fail, stand up after I fall, feel more confident, and be myself. My home now is where I learn to love myself more and experience the world beyond the comfort of my parent’s direct care and constant support. My home is within me.

As I grow, my home also grows and follows me through my life journeys. It is now made of different experiences, which teach me about my values and self-worth; it's made of people that I can rely on and learn from, and of things that I am eager to immerse myself in. As you can see, my home now contains many things and, ironically, many opposites: it has both relaxation and challenges, happiness and sadness, silence and turbulence, tangible objects and intangible ones. My home does not have a fixed form, for it always is and will be changing. What does not change is that home will always be the place where I feel most belonged. In this home, I belong to myself and my own identity, as an immigrant, a Vietnamese, and my parent's daughter. 

🏠 On Self-Belonging 

What does it mean when I belong to myself?

It is when I know my self-worth, when I know when to say no, when I don't have to be around so many people to feel like I fit in, and when I can spend hours alone, juggling all my life's mess, and not feeling lonely. Because I am enough. 

And you, you can also have your own version of home like mine too.  We all have that “home” where we feel most invigorated and energized. If you're struggling to find it, I encourage you to look inside, into your inner self.  

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place.” — Maya Angelou

My home is no tangible place, for it has always been with me and my inner self. As I settle in different places and go through different life experiences, my heart and mind will always be with me. They are not separate. Together, they make up my home. 

And they could be where you base your home too. You don’t have to strive to belong anywhere. You have a home that is in your heart and head.

“Trust that you are exactly where you need to be.” 

🪴 Tips to cultivate your home 

1. Take Up Space

Learn to advocate for yourself, wherever you go, because everywhere you go, your heart, mind, and identity travel with you. Practice cultivating your home. Fueling up the wholesomeness within you! Never doubt yourself for who you are, regardless of your accent, skin color, occupation, family background, and modify them just to be accepted. It's not worth it.  

You do not need to prove yourself to those who would seek to diminish you. Don't ever think that you don't belong to this place or this community because YOU BELONG EVERYWHERE! 

“Even though we may not control the events that happened to us or people around us, we can decide not to be reduced by them” — Maya Angelou

2. Practice mindfulness 

Focus on the present, check in with yourself more often, this can be done through journaling, meditating, taking restorative walks, etc. Use the warmth and kindness you nurture within your “home” and spread them. 

3. Spread your positive energy 

Spread YOUR warmth and kindness to people around you, your family members, and your friends. Hug them extra hard today, tell your loved ones how much you love them, and tell yourself, yes look in the mirror and tell yourself, you are fricking amazing and resilient, because life is too short and unpredictable to hold back these words!

Sending you all the love, strength, and support. May you heal. May you continue to shine. And may you never stop fighting. 

And as always, remember to breathe! 

“Don't let someone dim your light just because it’s shining in their eyes. Sometimes, you gotta be the only who believes in yourself when no one else does.” — David Roads